There's A Thin Line Between Love And Hate
by BouncyCastle08
Summary: Carcy! Lucy never died and has returned the ER to attempt being a med student again. Carter is asighned to be her resident. From the begining they fight. They both have scars from the sccident on Valentine's day, but refuse to talk about it. Will they eve


Disclaimer: I do not own ER because if I did Lucy would never have died and the current seasons wouldn't suck so much

Authors Note: This is my first fan fiction ever, so wish me luck

Lucy Knight walked into Cook County General Hospital as if it were any normal day. But, for her, it wasn't and it probably never will be. The walk towards the reception area took forever, at least in her mind. She wasn't sure if she was taking her victory lap or her walk of shame.

In reality the staff and patients of the ER were to busy to notice the petite blond woman, but Lucy felt like she was on display. Her scars were well covered by her comfortable clothes, but she felt, somehow, that everyone could see them.

After what felt like an eternity she reached the desk.

"Lucy!" Jerry smiled at her as he looked up from a pile of charts he was "organizing"

He has always reminded her of a big teddy bear. He towered over her but, never seemed imposing.

"Hey Jerry" she said it softly.

"Don't be shy" he stepped out from behind the desk and wrapped her in a huge hug, lifting her off the ground. To her surprise she laughed.

"Thanks Jerry" she looked up at him as he placed her back on the floor.

"You lab coat, ID badge, and locker are in the lounge, just sign here " he thrust a paper and pen at her.

" What exactly am I signing?"

"Your soul to me" he did his best evil laugh and it was still horrible.

While she was away she even missed Jerry's cheesy sense of humor.

He took the forms away.

"Dr. Carter's in the lounge, he'll show you your locker"

He winked as he said it. Some things will never change.

"Bye" she rolled her eyes.

It felt like she had been away from the hospital for six days, not six months.

She walked down the familiar hallways toward the lounge. She had missed this all. The chipped and stained floor, the leaky ceiling tiles, the harsh florescent lights. She took in a deep breath of hospital air, filling her lungs to there capacity. She felt a slight ache in her chest that would probably never go away. There it was, the hospital smell, the stagnant air that was scented like alcohol, lyosol, urine , and the uniquely medical aroma.

She pushed open the swinging door and remembered how the door used to hit her in the butt when she first got here. Then she saw him. She wasn't thinking about smells anymore.

He was lying on one of the vinyl couches, dressed in a light blue button down shirt, tie, and suspenders. His lab coat was on the couch's arm. He had some slight stubble on his face and Lucy hoped he wasn't trying to regrow that awful beard.

She leaned in close to his ear.

"DR. CARTER!"

"Wha-" he didn't finish the word because her got flustered and fell of the couch.

Instead of getting up he looked at the expensive watch on his wrist.

"You Are Late"

"You are on your ass"

His voice had once annoyed her to the breaking point, now, she felt overjoyed to hear it, however scolding it was.

He pushed himself up and shrugged on his lab coat.

You would never know she almost died, he couldn't help but think as he looked at her. God knows, she must have scars to rival his, but, she looked, well, normal at the moment. He couldn't not stare at her. He was so afraid he would wake up and realize this was a dream.

Lucy assumed their meeting would be awkward, but this was a little weird.

"Uh, Dr. Carter you haven't blinked for awhile, I'm getting kinda nervous"

Her voice knocked him out of his trance.

"I'm sorry it's just..." he couldn't find the words

"Yeah, I know" She wouldn't completely believe the he was alive until she saw him.

An awkward silence fell between them.

"So." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Jerry told me to ask you about my locker"

"Yeah, OK. There weren't any free lockers so you can put your stuff in mine" he walked over to his locker "Right 7, back around to 9, and then 26" The locker popped open. "Lab coat, stethoscope, and ID badge" he named the items as he handed them to her. "You ready?"

Carter knew that she would lag behind as she out on her stuff, he wanted to get to the rack first and find something easy.

He grabbed a chart from the rack. Lucy came up behind him as he was writing there name on the board.

There it was, in dry erase marker. Carter/Knight. She was back

"Come on" he motioned for her to follow him.

He led her to curtain 3 and handed her a chart.

"Get a history"

He followed behind her.

"Hello, Mr. Santiago, my name is Lucy Knight and this is Dr. Carter, I understand you fell down and bumped you head. I'm gonna ask you some questions"

When he was her teacher the first time he would have left her alone to make assessments, start an IV, or do sutures, and then come back to check on her. This time he would stay with her even if she was removing a splinter from a 10 year old.

He watched her as she talked to the patient. She knew how to talk to people, make them feel at ease. After everything that happened, she still hadn't lost her sentiment. Carter listened to the history with one ear.

"So, Miss Knight what do you suggest?"

"Clean, irrigate, and suture the wound" She went on to describe the procedure "Do you want me to wheel him to the suture room?"

"Nah, it's pretty full, I'll just bring you a suture kit" As soon as he left the curtain area he started kicking himself. He had left her alone. He had left her alone. He was an ass. He could intubate, put in chest tubes, he could remember pages of information given to him, be he couldn't do this. They should revoke his license for just being stupid.

He was careful to avoid people on the way, especially the nurses. He didn't want to deal with that. He grabbed a suture kit from the suture room and headed back, he couldn't help but rush.

"Mr. Santiago are you allergic to any medications, lidocaine, novocaine, local anesthetic?" Cater asked.

"Not that I know of"

"OK" he handed the suture kit to Lucy he whispered in her ear "It's just like riding a bike"

He leaned against the wall and watched her work. He stared at her hands, moving gracefully, as she did the procedure as if she had never stopped.

"Mr. Santiago, Dr. Carter is going to give you a prescription for an anti-biotic cream and you'll need to change the dressing every two days, and you'll need to come back and see us in ten days to have the stitches out." She un-characteristically looked at Carter and not the patient as she was giving out the instructions, she didn't want to mess this up.

Carter wrote out a prescription for Silvadene cream and handed it to her and she handed him the chart to sign.

"Hospital Pharmacy is open 24 hours" she smiled at the patient

Mr. Santiago just grunted. Lucy wouldn't let it bring her down.

Lucy and Carter left the curtain area.

"What's next?" She smiled, she had finished her first patient. Granted, it wasn't anything big, but she has done it.

For the rest of her eight-hour shift Carter fished out the easiest cases. She saw weak and dizzies all over, sour throat, two broken bones, headaches, and cut after cut. Every time a trauma came in they were "conveniently" on a different floor.

The thought was nice, but Lucy wanted something, well, more doctor like to do. She didn't want to be on lice patrol for the entire time that she was his student.

"You wanna take a break and get some coffee from the lounge?" This was their 10th break of the day.

This was getting old.

She pushed the door open with force. Before the accident, Carter would have made some remark about it, but he remained quiet, and just reached over her shoulder to hold the door.

As the med student she would normally gotten the coffee, but Carter just waved her away. He poured two mugs of coffee. He added cream and sugar to hers, but left his black. She kinda missed the sludge like coffee.

He went to place the mug in front of her, but she thought he was handing it to her. Their hands bumped together and the cup fell down and broke on the floor. A shard bounced up and sliced Lucy's hand.

"Dammit Carter!" she knew it wasn't his fault, but the frustration bubbled over.

"What"

"Just stop it!"

"Stop what ever you are doing!"

What are you talking about!"

"You being all, all, all!" she couldn't find the words.

"All what!"

Their yelling could be heard throughout the ER. Those milling around and at the desk tried to look like they were busy, but, they were all listening.

Haleh looked at Lydia.

"And you said that things were gonna be different" she said in her naturally motherly voice.

"Don't baby me!" Lucy yelled

"I'm not!" he knew on some level that he was lying.

"Yes you are, I don't need you to protect me! If I wasn't ready I wouldn't have come back!"

"I am treating you like any normal med student!"

"I am not a normal med student!"

Damn she's insufferable.

"I didn't need to be your resident, but no one else wanted to be, so I stepped in, I did you a favor!"

Lucy was to in shock to speak. Hurt started to spread from her brain to body. She couldn't sit down, speak, do anything but stand still.

He knew that was low. Before he could apologize or do anything Connie stuck her head in the lounge.

"MVA coming in, car VS tree. Benton got called up to surgery, Greens on break, it's just you guys" She tossed them yellow gowns "ETA two minutes"

Lucy shook her head. She had to put all feelings aside and focus.

They jogged to the doors when the gurney crashed through.

It began.

Lucy fell into trauma mode, as the gurney spead through the hallway.

"Trauma 1!" Jerry yelled.

Lucy imprinted the paramedics words on her brain and was already planning out her options as the gurney burst throught th edoors of trauma 1.

"Let's move him, gently, on my count. 1, 2, 3" Carter said taking the lead.

The two of them fell into sync. Lucy anticipated his every move and thought. Handing him tubes, syringes, and scalpels almost before he asked for them. The never bumped into each other and moved as though this was a well choreographed dance.

Lucy pa-" he stopped because she was handing them over and placing gel on them at the same time.

"Charging 100" she said before he had a chance.

"Clear!"

"Still no pulse" Lucy said "Charging 250"

"Clear!"

"Nothing"

"Dammit"

"Charge 300"

"Clear"

"Sinus"

"Connie, call up to the OR and tell them that we are on out way" Carter put up the sides of the bed.

The wheeled the gurney through the hospital and up the elevator.

"Just stay stable." Lucy said quietly to herself and the patient.

Carter noticed this and smiled.

They passed him off to the OR team and went back to the ER.

"Uh"

Niether new what to say.

"Why don't you let me have a look at your hand" he finall asked, bot really looking at her.

"I'm fine"

"I don't want it to get infected"

She reluctantly handed him her hand.

He was surprised at ho soft it was.

His hand felt warm to her.

He looked at and touched the skin surrounding the wound.

"Ouch"

"Sorry" his voice sounded so different from when he was yelling at her.

"Let me take you to the suture room, this might need a stitch or two, and I definitely need to clean it out"

As they left the lounge they both thought about that time in exam 6 during the storm.


End file.
